Wondering If You’re Hardened by Life? These Hidden Clues People Are Talking About
Life’s hardships often shape us in ways we don’t immediately notice. Over time, challenges, disappointments, and struggles can subtly change how we perceive the world and interact with others. But how do you know if you’ve truly become hardened by life? The signs can be more subtle than you think. You might not even realize you or someone you know is showing these signs. In this post, we’ll explore 8 hidden clues that indicate life’s difficulties have left a mark. From emotional resilience to changes in behavior, people are talking about these signs, and it’s time to see if they apply to you.
“For me, that is control. It’s safe. It’s a coping mechanism for PTSD.
My independence is self preservation. When someone else is in control, I won’t know all the details. Risk mitigation is always a priority. I can’t plan for what I don’t know. Only I can ensure my own safety to the best of my abilities.
It seems like it would be badass to be hyper independent, but really it’s just annoying and exhausting. I can’t just be a ride or die. I’m a where are we going? How long will we be there? Will there be snacks?”
2. “I heard the comment before ‘my light shines more steady, but less bright’ and I think this is true of people who have experienced the hard side of life for a long time.“
“People always say to me that they wish they were as calm as me when we have emergencies at work.
Trust me you don’t want the experiences I’ve had to be stoic in emergencies.”
4. “They are kind. People who have been through the hardest shit are kind, not nice. They acknowledge the hardship of others and can see when someone is struggling.“
“I thought life had hardened me until I reached a point where I could help others. It’s like, in some weird way, I’m helping my past self and it’s dusting off my light today. Time isn’t linear.
Besides that…old people (I mean.. I’m old) can fu*k off with their “I walked uphill to school both ways in the snow with breadbags on my feet” bullshit. I don’t have to make shit harder for the people behind me just because I had to go through it. I know what to avoid and which way to go! Why wouldn’t I want to show someone else? Why do they have to suffer, too? It’s just logical. It makes everybody better off.”
5. “Surprised no one said this, but they’re incredibly alert and aware of things happening around them.
Don’t enjoy crowded places, overly protective of those they care about and almost rudely aloof to those they don’t.
Not overly sympathetic to people who complain or people who create drama for themselves.“
“Big time, when people let themselves get upset over the minor and trivial inconveniences. You know someone has been through shit and has more perspective when they have a better ability to roll with the punches and navigate hurdles as opposed to stirring up a fuss.”
7. “Are astonished… when someone says or does something kind toward them.
When someone remembers them, ie their birthday, or gifts them something (not out of obligation)
When they are amazed or wistful to hear how other families function and treat one another“
“That’s me!!! I don’t know how to handle it because I have 0 programming for it. My instincts scream to be suspicious of why they’re doing it or to just dismiss/brush it off because I don’t know how to respond.
Hearing about other families is devastating tbh. Just hope I get to experience one in the next life if there is one”
8. “They just…exist
I don’t know how to fully explain it. You have your happy people. And then you have the people who turn to alcohol and drugs and have complete mental breakdowns at the smallest of inconveniences.
Then you have the people who just….exist. the world will literally be falling around them and they will just go. Move. Continue. Many people think they don’t have emotions but they do. Perhaps too many. In fact, usually too many. So many that even drugs and alcohol or partying or whatever wouldn’t even help them anymore. They just shove them down so far that they don’t even quite sure how to reach them.
And they just exist. But beyond all that hardness, they also tend to be the most caring and giving people. Nobody really gives them a chance because they really have resting bitch face, but if somebody does happen to give them a chance, they are the lifelong friend type. The ones who bend over backwards for everybody but rarely expect anything in return and if they do get something in return it’s such an awkward feeling it’s really the only emotion they don’t know how to keep down because they haven’t experienced it“
